https://www.thirdgen.org/techbb2/sho...threadid=88527

That was #1.

I went out today to get something from my car, pulled the hatch up and to my surprise it wouldn't go down.. oh crap I thought, as I was late already. I sat there, thinking of a way to close the damn thing.. as it would just fly up when I closed it. Finally I got some old v-belts and tied them to the plastic interior and it held. So now I have zero power to anything, just after my car made this really odd sound when it tried to start. Could it just be a dead battery? Would the starter make a sort of grinding/tapping noise if it didn't have sufficient power?

 

If the starter had not quite enough power, it'd crank the engine real slooowwww. If it had only a little power, you'd hear it go click-click-click. In either of the above cases you'd still have a radio (although static-y) and dim lights. If it had no power, it'd do nothing.
It's possible you have a dead battery. Check that first, as it is the easiest thing to test. Also, go under the car, and make sure none of the fusible links coming off the starter are burned up. And I know Vader already lectured you about the scissor jack, but seriously, I had a friend who had a car fall on him because of a scissor jack. Lucky for him he managed to halfway crawl into the fenderwell before the car landed on him. He escaped with a few bruised ribs, although he was under a honda del sol. I doubt you'd have such luck with an f-body.

 

It was a bad battery. Second one that has died in six months. The guys at Kragen think that I like coming back in.

 

is the voltage regulator on the alt. still good? An overvoltage will kill a battery in a hurry.