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Old 01-19-2003, 01:59 PM
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i once went to help a friend buy a car, and there was supposed to be a big sale with "over 400 automobiles" that day. they had a lot that could accomodate maybe 150 tops, and it was less than half full

i didnt' say a word until about an hour went buy. i just pretended not to care or know anything about cars, options, engines, credit reports, loans, or anything else.

-he told my friend that 3 different cars he was selling were rated the #1 import midsize sedan in 2001. when i called him on this out in the lot, he said "well, they're all really good cars". so which one is the best? "well, you can't go wrong with any of them"

-he told her she HAD to get a car with a warranty. i explained to him that the warranty is as much to cover his *** as ours, since no one in their right mind would pay $20,000 for a car with no protection, and without it they wouldn't sell a single car. he then proceeded to tell her how dumb it was to buy a used car, and asked me for concurrence. i said "the newest car i've owned was 8 years old, and my parents have never owned a car newer than 3 years old, and we managed ok".

-he told her that used cars were just about the same price as new cars. my jaw almost dropped, but then he showed me proof. the sticker on the 2002 (new) car was $19,500. he was selling a 2001 WITH 49,000 MILES for $18,400 !! (he got pissed when i asked which taxi service or rental company previously owned it, or was it just a dyno test car in a lab)

-the best of the best. he took us over to see a car with "all kinds of hot new technology. it even has the new Pizzano-electric airbags, which measure your mass as you move down the road, and when it detects a sudden change, like an accident, immediately deploys the airbag to protect you". i said "wow, pizzano-electric- is that from italy?" "uh, no, it's actually from germany". i couldn't hold it in anymore, and explained to him that it was piezo-electric, and that it measures acceleration, not mass, things that measure mass are called scales, and that if you were in a situation where the mass of your car was changing rapidly you'd need a lot more than an airbag to save you...

(needless to say, we didn't buy anything there).
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Old 01-19-2003, 10:01 PM
  #152  
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Wow, I had heard most of the other ones (well expect the odd motor stories....) but that one wow, usually salesman that I have dealt with dont talk about things they don't understand....just....wow.....
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Old 01-19-2003, 11:09 PM
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Car: '86 IROC-Z/'94 Z28
Engine: 350 LT1/382 LT1
Transmission: 4L60-E/T-56
Axle/Gears: 3.45/3.42 (soon 4.10)
I knew some kid in HS a few years back that was really into 5.0 Mustangs like I was at the time. He swore up and down he was going to make it the fastest car you ever saw because he couldn't stand that my GT convertible was faster. So the kid saved for a month and bought an adjustable wet system for his car. I told him not to do it but of course I don't know anything at all so he did it. Got on the back road behind the HS which is about 3/4 mile long and straight. First, all N/A. Second, he hit it with a little bit of HP and it perked right up. More is better, he hit it with like a 325 shot and the motor started smoking halfway down the road, clutch slipping. Before I could stop him, he hit it with everything he had and blew a 2 foot long flame from the driver's tailpipe and the whole car shook. We saw flames from under the hood; he blew the cylinder head and half the intake clean off, through the hood! What a dumbass. It was a nice car, too! I dunno what he did but he sure fu*ked that motor up! We never found the parts, BTW. I never saw a piston messed up so bad!

I also thought it was funny when some girl offered me a BJ to change the fuel pump in her car since it was too much money... the guy who had a leaf blower hooked up to his mazda protege and claimed the car wouldn't run well afterwards, and the lights got dim...the guy who complained his car engaged drive roughly (because it was idling at like 4000 RPM), and the guy who complained about the durability of his new S-10 because to motor would make no power...he never changed the oil in 35000 miles and I had to poke out the drain plug hole and scoop it to get the oil to come out. I also like these know-it-all service 'professionals' that like telling the tech what the car needs,the tech does the work, and the problem is still there. Then they complain that it's your fault. They also complain when I leave because I took home $120 total during Christmas, and I could make more baggin groceries instead of being a diag tech. Talk about slow biz...

I always said some people should NEVER work on cars...that's why I'm getting out of the mechanic biz...to many people know it all already
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Old 01-19-2003, 11:34 PM
  #154  
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Engine: 305 LO3
Transmission: 700-R4
Originally posted by dhirocz
I knew some kid in HS a few years back that was really into 5.0 Mustangs like I was at the time. He swore up and down he was going to make it the fastest car you ever saw because he couldn't stand that my GT convertible was faster. So the kid saved for a month and bought an adjustable wet system for his car. I told him not to do it but of course I don't know anything at all so he did it. Got on the back road behind the HS which is about 3/4 mile long and straight. First, all N/A. Second, he hit it with a little bit of HP and it perked right up. More is better, he hit it with like a 325 shot and the motor started smoking halfway down the road, clutch slipping. Before I could stop him, he hit it with everything he had and blew a 2 foot long flame from the driver's tailpipe and the whole car shook. We saw flames from under the hood; he blew the cylinder head and half the intake clean off, through the hood! What a dumbass. It was a nice car, too! I dunno what he did but he sure fu*ked that motor up! We never found the parts, BTW. I never saw a piston messed up so bad!
reading that reminded me of the nos kits I saw at O'Rielly behind the counter with all the import performance stuff
when I saw them I wondered how much $$ O'Rielly has made ordering new engines.
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Old 01-19-2003, 11:36 PM
  #155  
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Car: '86 IROC-Z/'94 Z28
Engine: 350 LT1/382 LT1
Transmission: 4L60-E/T-56
Axle/Gears: 3.45/3.42 (soon 4.10)
Oh yeah, I just remembered to guy I bought my '86 IROC from. We were talking about it...trying to negotiate a deal because it needed alot of work...and he popped to hood, looked at it, and said, 'That's the biggest four cylinder I ever saw' and I about died. The funniest thing is he was serious about it' must've thought there were 2 spark plugs per cylinder or something

I also remember this car, one of the last cars I worked on as a mechanic, a beat up 1990 Chrysler New Yorker. Every V6 Chrysler I've seen, or rather, every Chrysler motor other than a Viper V-10 or Magnum V6 or V8, leaks oil. They burn the oil they don't leak. This one had oil coming from everywhere and it was so long since it had a tune up it wouldn't run. I was mad about something about the car... something to do with one of the service 'professionals'...and I remember getting into an argument with one of them because I thought it was a pice of $hit. I told the other mechanic it was garbage and it needed to be dropped burning from a bridge. We were joking of course. 2 days later we find out the car burnt to a crisp, while the owner sat inside of it WHILE BURNING, calling the shop and asking what to do. At least the fire started on the other side of the engine compartment...probably had something to do with those bare wires and that leaking oil I told them about... man this stuff is funny...you'd be suprised how many idiots there are in my city...I keep remembering this stuff all the time, like the guy we called the FHP on at the dealership because he wanted to drive his truck off and it was so long since he had the brakes done, the rear drums fell apart and he pinched the lines with visegrips, and the rotors were paper-thick, metal-to metal. He didn't take it in for repair until one of the caliper was leaking so bad he lost all it's fluid...the FHP told him if he drove it off he'd arrest him and impound his car. Fuggin idiots man!
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Old 02-04-2003, 08:43 AM
  #156  
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know-it-all mechanic

Had just installed the centerforce clutch kit and while bleeding the slave cylinder it exploded on me. I went down to the dealership to look into a complete new setup and was taking to a mechanic. Asked him if he thought that maybe air was trapped in the system and when a friend stepped on the clutch pedal while I was bleeding it the air and fluid compressed so much that it caused the slave cylinder to fail on me like it did.
The mechanic looks at me with his best ASE Certified Master Mechanic look and proceeds to explain to me that my suggestion is impossible because "you cant compress air".
I was so pissed I just turned around and walked away. had to get home cause I had a 60 gallon tank w/ a 7 hp motor sittin on it in my garage that sears sold me tellin me bout how it would run all my air tools and spray guns. hell they even mentioned somethin bout inflatin my tires with it. but of course we now know that that would require compressed air.
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Old 02-04-2003, 08:56 AM
  #157  
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Re: know-it-all mechanic

Originally posted by RocnZZ4

The mechanic looks at me with his best ASE Certified Master Mechanic look and proceeds to explain to me that my suggestion is impossible because "you cant compress air".
DUH!!! The reason why brakes get a soft pedal is because air is in the line and it's that same air that is compressing. Brake fluid will not compress, but air sure will.

I was once an ASE Certified Mechanic, when I was in the business, and just because some "TECH" IS ASE certified, doesn't mean he's certified in all areas of the car. The ASE certifications are broken down into 18 different catagories (well, there were when I took the tests) and all the is required to become "ASE Certified" is to pass only one of those tests. Now, to become a "MASTER Mechanic", you have to pass all 18.

I'll bet that ASE Mechanic you talked to was certified in Body and Paint repair!!! :lala: :lala: :lala:

Later,
-Mike
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Old 02-04-2003, 10:42 AM
  #158  
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Originally posted by dhirocz
... I told the other mechanic it was garbage and it needed to be dropped burning from a bridge. We were joking of course. 2 days later we find out the car burnt to a crisp, while the owner sat inside of it WHILE BURNING, calling the shop and asking what to do...
You could have seen that one coming a mile away. Anyone that has such a poor grasp of engineering concepts and succumbs to the sheer advertising hype to the point of purchasing a Chrysler, is likely to become a case study or statistic in short order. It's just about as reliable as the gravitation pull of massive bodies.

Natural selection - gotta love it.

Other common repair myths, legends, and snake oils:
  • Sea Foam;
  • Tornado "fuel savers";
  • Fart cans add power;
  • The computer will tell you what's wrong;
  • Emission controls cost power;
  • All posi axles need friction modifier (from another ASE tech);
  • Synthetic lubes cause leakage;
  • Fiberglass bodies are lighter;
  • Front wheel drive is safer;
  • Air bags are safer;
  • Using the park brake will cause it to stick;
  • WD-40 is a good hinge/latch/body lubricant;
  • Bigger is better (valves, headers, tires, cams, etc.);
  • Hondas last longer;
  • Composite sticks are better (I had to throw that one in).
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Old 02-04-2003, 12:21 PM
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Originally posted by burntblues
The sad part is, is that people are going to start thinking that is a required tool to a rebuild. You wait, next mag with an engine rebuild will use it...

-=-Mike
that handle is hardly a "new" item, they have been around a few decades.
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Old 02-08-2003, 09:37 PM
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Perfect website for this post...
http://kalecoauto.com/
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Old 02-09-2003, 01:13 AM
  #161  
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I had a "Mechanic" at an alignment shop tell me how if i removed the rear from my camaro and flipped it upside down it would go faster!! Yes you see it seems that he used to do that to all his cars to make them faster. He then took my car with unevenly work tires for a ride down atlantic avenue in brooklyn, removed his hands from the wheel and decided since it goes strait i didn't need an alignment!! atlantic avenue is more crowned than brittish royalty, and has more ruts and potholes than afganistan post 9/11
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Old 02-23-2003, 02:23 AM
  #162  
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Car: 91 Trans Am Convertible
Engine: 300 HP 350 CI
Transmission: 700R4
Axle/Gears: Drums?
You haven't lived until you've convinced someone to get you an exhaust sample.
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Old 02-23-2003, 09:20 AM
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the old VW Beetles and Minibuses, and even some Porsches used opposed-4s as well
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Old 02-23-2003, 02:06 PM
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Car: 1986 Firebird
Engine: 2.8 V6
Transmission: 700R4
Originally posted by dhirocz
I also thought it was funny when some girl offered me a BJ to change the fuel pump in her car since it was too much money...
Dammit; now I'm thinking of all the work I've done for chicks and said "oh don't worry about it, just bring me coffee" ... %#@(!!!!!

Only funny thing I can come up with, probably the longest I've ever kept a straight face for, was when I was at my buddy's house, and his sister-in-law came in. Hadn't seen her in a few months, asked her how her new car was doing. She said it was doing good, she just got an oil change done. I asked if they changed the air in the tires. She said no- why? I said "Wait, did you ever change the air?" She said "no" I said "you've had the car how long?" She gets panicky, says "oh no how bad is that? I don't have the money for new tires-" and then me and my buddy burst out laughing... she nearly killed us

Last edited by TomP; 02-23-2003 at 02:27 PM.
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Old 02-23-2003, 07:14 PM
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Car: 86 IROC-Z
Engine: 305 TPI
Transmission: 700R4
Axle/Gears: 3.42s/posi/disc
lol lol lol

for the life of me i could not convince my friend one day that true dual exauste on an 8 cyclinder means that the left side does not in any way conect or "dump "into the right side set of cylinders exauste pipe, and i showed him my car to prrov my pint and he sed that nope that on a car with true duals the pipes arnt suposed to bend at all they have to go strate back like on his dads 67 chevy pick up truck he sed there cant bend the pipe at all to monuver it around the under carage or it isnt real dual exaust. i eventualy gave up on it.
i tried to tell him no matter how many bends are in the piped that just as long as the left side isnt conected to the right side set of cyclinders exaust that it is still true dual exaust.
sorry for my spelling its late at night and had to tell my funny storry.

lol also i had to argue with him that on a standared tranny the clutch is on the out side of the tranny he thought you had to split the cases to replace the clutch on a standard lol lol lol

also i had a friend think that a 305 was a small block (true) but he also sed that a 350 was a big block i tried to tell him that the 305 the 350 and even the 400 are all the same there all small blocks, lol my friends are stuiped
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Old 02-23-2003, 07:19 PM
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Car: 86 IROC-Z
Engine: 305 TPI
Transmission: 700R4
Axle/Gears: 3.42s/posi/disc
oh yeah i got another one

also i argued with some kids on the way home from sea way tech that hp doesnt win a race that torqe does they did not believe me.
they were all like the honda s 200 put out 240 or something hp and i was like yeah but it only puts out like 153 foot pounds or torqe and they are like so, i eventualy gave up and just stared out the windo because it was like talking to a brick wall.
the stuff i have to deal with over here in the north country
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Old 02-23-2003, 07:20 PM
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lol one more

also i work on 4 wheelers and dirtbikes alot i have rebuilt alot for my friends and i alwase get lol why your at it wat kind of power band should i buy for it man whitch one is the best. man they are lucky i am trust worthy i should have made them pay for one and i pocket the money lol but im not like that
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Old 02-23-2003, 08:30 PM
  #168  
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if you think those stories are good, listen to this...

The Mechanic

this is amazing, the first time i listened to it i think i actually cried.
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Old 02-23-2003, 11:58 PM
  #169  
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Car: 1978 Chevrolet C10
Engine: 350
Transmission: Turbo 350
Originally posted by breathment
all u people with automotive related jobs are depressing me, stupid autozone not giving me a job yet

------------------
- David
88' GTA 5.7L TPI MODS---> air foil, K&N, Shift Kit, 180* therm, TB bypass, Gutted CAT, Flowmaster 80 Series Muffler added to Unkown CatBack, Ported Intake

http://www.geocities.com/david_angel_16
lol i know your pain, ive been trying for 6 months to get a dam job anywhere, ive been trying every place in sight from McDonalds to freaking Schools as a janitor, to the dam City working stuff. it sucks not having a job.
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Old 02-24-2003, 12:21 AM
  #170  
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Originally posted by 99Hawk120
You can laugh all you want, but V4's DO exist. I saw one in an early 80s subaru (you know, the kind with the spare tire in the engine compartment). Damnedest thing I ever saw. The ebrake on that car worked the front wheels, too (it was FWD)...

Crazy car...
its called a boxer engine, the pistons move parellel to the ground, not like a V8. sorry.
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Old 02-24-2003, 01:20 AM
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Funny/sad true story...
A guy that knows I own a GTA comes up to me and says "Dude, check out this picture!!!"
It's a picture of a convertable trans-am
"Its a 1993 Convertable GTA!!! I just bought it from the owner for only $10,000! He's gonna drop the car off tommorrow!!!"
I laugh, "You know there were no convertable GTA's right? You know that they didn't even make a GTA in 1993 right?? Please dont tell me you're gonna pay the guy 10k for a car that doesnt exist right?"
Well he calls me an idiot, says I think I know it all and I'm just jealous. I feel real sorry for him, he actually PAYED, or rather was conned, into buying a picture of a car for 10,000. Never caught the scammer.
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Old 02-24-2003, 01:45 AM
  #172  
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The other day I was at an auto parts store looking at tires with my friend and this younger guy was talking to an employee about my age (19) about what kind of performance mods he could do to make his car faster. The employee told him that he could put nos on it but that he didn't recommend that. He also told he theres lot of stuff that he could do to the engine like new spark plugs (the top of the line v-groove ones) k&n filter and a performance muffler. The kid was dead serious and he sounded like he actually thought he knew what he was talking about.
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Old 02-24-2003, 05:57 PM
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That's probably why the Pep Boys closest to me doesn't carry electrical connectors or gaskets, and why the hardware aisle (nuts/bolts) has been reduced to almost nothing. They sure have enough fart can exhaust pipes and neons and blinking things and shiny things and their display rack of Jensen stereos is the biggest I've ever seen. Now I gotta drive a 1/2 hour to get to a Pep Boys that actually -has- parts.

I remember going there once, asking for a center e-brake cable. The cable that hooked the e-brake handle to the adjuster, underneath the car, had snapped. The guy asks me which side. I say, slowly, "I need the center cable; it goes to the adjuster, there's no left or right to it." So he says he'll look it up, but I still need to know which side. He looks it up, turns the screen to me, says "There they are, but we need to know what side you need." Staring me in the face is "center parking brake cable". I put a big fingerprint on the screen (ha!) and say I need this one. So he calls a supervisor over!! The guy comes over, and the parts monkey starts jabbering about how I don't know what side I need, how could he help me find out. The supervisor opens his mouth to talk to me and I go off before he can say a word- "I need the CENTER brake cable. CENTER. No sides. I even pointed it out and he won't give it to me!" So the supervisor looks at the kid, and says, "He wants the center one, there it is, get it for him". Kid goes in the back, comes to the counter, and says "We're out of those. I can special order it; it'll be here in 2 weeks." So I went to the local "real" parts store (and killed my lunch break!), and the guy had it for me the next day.
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Old 02-25-2003, 08:57 AM
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its called a boxer engine, the pistons move parellel to the ground, not like a V8. sorry.
There was a V4 in a Saab about 30 years ago.




Last edited by a73camaro; 02-25-2003 at 09:04 AM.
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Old 02-25-2003, 03:40 PM
  #175  
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Engine: 6.3L Victor EFI
Transmission: Tremec TKO 600
Axle/Gears: Moser 9"/4.11 Trac-Lok
Here's a couple:
Too many years ago, when I was young, a friends dad told me not to put headers on my 69 Camaro because they would reduce the backpressure & burn the exhaust valves.
While working in a Goodyear tire store, a young customer insisted to me he wanted 215/50R15 tire because 50's are wider than 235/60R15's. After explaining about how metric size tires & aspect ratios, he still didn't get it.
Another customer insisted on puting on 205/50R15 on the front & 2356015 on the rear of his then new 90 Dodge Daytona (front wheel drive) with air shocks on the rear to get some tire clearance. He came back with his father in about 5000 miles with cord showing through on the front tires & demanded we replace his obviously defective tires. Thecar was jacked up so high in the rear it looked like it was driving into the ground.
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Old 02-25-2003, 09:36 PM
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Re: Re: know-it-all mechanic

Originally posted by Nitroburn
DUH!!! The reason why brakes get a soft pedal is because air is in the line and it's that same air that is compressing. Brake fluid will not compress, but air sure will.

I was once an ASE Certified Mechanic, when I was in the business, and just because some "TECH" IS ASE certified, doesn't mean he's certified in all areas of the car. The ASE certifications are broken down into 18 different catagories (well, there were when I took the tests) and all the is required to become "ASE Certified" is to pass only one of those tests. Now, to become a "MASTER Mechanic", you have to pass all 18.

I'll bet that ASE Mechanic you talked to was certified in Body and Paint repair!!! :lala: :lala: :lala:

Later,
-Mike
haha funny story about this just happened to me the other day...my freind calls me because her truck is stuck in the street with the front brakes locked up...so i get my tool box and head over there...by the time i get there, her neighboor had come outside and was trying to fix the truck...he had ****ily restored a 71 camaro, so he thinks hes king...first and he wants to jack up the back end and swing it around rolling on the jack to get it out of the street, and i have to explain to him, number 1, its uphill, 2, the jack wont roll to easily on pavement with a car on it, and 3, the front wheels are locked so it wont pivot anyway. he argues with me for a while, so i walk off to my car and get my tool box and begin taking off the master cylinder with him still talking to me. He tells me the linkage rods in teh master cyclinder are binding (or something like that, i dont remember), and then points to the brake booster...so i ignore him and take off the master cyclinder, leaving the lines installed still...and go push the brake, and much to his surprize, the rod moved...he was pissed now, i proved him wrong twice...so then i ask him if he has an end wrench, cause i forgot mine...he brings it back and asks what for?? ...so i point to the brake lines on the M cylinder...he starts flipping out telling me that the fluid is comressed in there and it will go all over everything and ruin the car...i just laughed and begin taking them off, and i get the back line off, and nothing comes out, he says because thats the return line... ...i ignore this, and begin taking off the front line, he then takes some newspaper, gets in my way, and puts it around the line and stands back like hes holding a firecracker...lol...i take it off and nothin comes out...he was shocked...so now hes pissed and he goes storming back to his house. I then ask my freind to get in the truck and move it into the driveway using the E brake, while i put my tools away...so as hes in the truck...this kid comes back out, and tells me the truck wont move...i have to explain that without a master cyclinder, the brakes dont work, so they cant be locked anymore... ...so he moves the truck and i go to the parts store..this is like the 4th ? time i proved him wrong..anyway, by the time i get back, he is all ready to help put it back together and bleed the brakes...so i sit back and let him crawl under the truck to operate the zerks while i get to sit and push the pedal...haha...he then thinks he fixed it cause he was the one under the truck...so i let him have his say...and the girl whos truck it was ended up buying me dinner ...not a myth, but a funny story i thought ide share...

Another thing about this kid and his camaro...my freind ryan has a 70 camaro, and this kid has a 71, he tells me his is better cause its all factory, (the 70 has a 450HP stroker in it, i did that too) ...so i ask him why he has all this edelbrock stuff...hes like...well otherthan the engine...ok, what about the exhaust?...not facotry either...hes starts turning red...then i ask about the car having 1970 seats...even mader, then i mention the wheels and tires not being stock...he was so pissed...i then say, neither car is factory stock, and the 70 will whoop your cars ***, so its better IMO ...he then goes on about the factory posi in his car, but he wants to replace it with a detriot locker cause "only one wheel will spin with a posi"...dumb ***...i ask him what kinda posi is it?...it may be worn out, thats why it slips, it could need a rebuild, or not be rebuildable at all, and just worn out...is it cone type?...clutch?? ...he looks at me like im talking french...haha...so i tell him about the rear end job i did on my camaro, 4.10's and an auburn posi, and i turn both tires..he told me i was wrong, it woudnt do it...so the next day i see him and his dad in his camaro...so i roast the tires, and then bark 2nd and 3rd with the back end kicking out each time...he probably didnt even realize it takes both tires turning to do that...lol..anyway, enough raggin on this kid...and sorry for the long post
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Old 02-26-2003, 10:01 AM
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Those are funny, will62085!! You know, no mater where you go, you'll find someone who "thinks" they know it all, but in reality, they don't know their rear end from a hole in the ground and when they try to talk their stuff, they end up looking more like a freakin idiot then anything else!!!!
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Old 02-26-2003, 12:53 PM
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well ya know, we are all in high school, so unless hes talking to me, or ryan (70 camaro), or my freind cory (hes got a 70 vette), he comes off like he knows it all...cause nobody else knows any better..rrrrr...ooh well
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Old 02-26-2003, 01:23 PM
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I had a guy ask for a "sprinkler cap" once..."you know, dat thing that sprinkles fire (fi-uh) to da spark plugs!"

One brain donor had just put heads on his 5.0 Mustang, and wondered why coolant spilled all over the floor when he started it up (can't believe it ran). I asked him all the usual stuff...did you use gaskets, were the heads flat, etc...turns out he "torqued" them down with an impact wrench!

When I worked for Mustangs Unlimited, some idiot called asking for a roof for his 65 Mustang coupe. I told him that a roof wasn't available new, and that his options were to locate a parts car and cut the roof off, or switch all his good parts to an undamaged car. He informed me that Ford still made "everything" for his car, and that I didn't know what I was talking about.

I've had several people ask for harmonica balancers, catastrophic convertors, etc. One customer asked how many cadillac convertibles come on a Maverick; I told him that they usually put the Mavericks on top of the Cadillacs (in the junkyard) since the Cadillacs are larger and would probably fall off.

After being yelled at by an idiot customer over the phone for a few minutes, after trying several times to help him, a friend of mine (this was at Year One) asked the customer, "Sir, did you get my name?". He replied no. Gene replied, "Good", and hung up on the SOB!
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Old 04-04-2003, 02:49 AM
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when I worked at a shop I had a guy tow his car in after trying to change his oil. after questioning what went wrong he said he was changing his oil and in the middle of it, realized he got the wrong filter and was driving back to the parts store. Without putting the plug back in or filter back on. OMG some people just need to be shot
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Old 04-05-2003, 11:03 AM
  #181  
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one nite at advance, we had this guy come in who had recently put a 350 in his s10. i had to go check his charging system because his battery light was on. it turned out that his alternator was bad. after telling him this he decides to "fix" his exhaust because it was only open headers and he didnt want picked up.we sell him various sizes of exhaust pipes and he goes to work......... in the parking lot. 3 hours later, weve been closed for about an hour. we decide taht we are gonna leave and ask this guy if he needs anything before we leave. he pops his head out from under the truck and is covered in what seems to be tranny fluid. we came back the next morning and there was a huge puddle. i have no idea exactly how he got home (only on battery, couldnt have much tranny fluid.)

some people should definately consider evolution.
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Old 04-06-2003, 12:01 AM
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This was told to me by a friend of mine (Mustang driver) who happens to work at a custom car place. I had done a few minor mods to my '85 Z28 such as removing the screens from my MAF sensor, removing the baffles from the air box, and installing K&N filters. Soon afterwards, my car started running like crap. He told me that my mods were allowing too much air into my engine and that these cars need a more restrictive intake to function properly! (It turned out to be an extremely clogged CAT!)
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Old 04-06-2003, 04:15 AM
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I worked at Strauss Discount Auto, and this guy that i worked with, that just came over from pep boys, had a 85 Camaro with a new 350 in it. One day work was slow so me and him are out in the garage talking about thirdgens. He goes ahead and tells me that i dont have a HEI ignition system, that i still ran a "points" style because my coil was not in the cap. I looked at him and was waiting for a "just kidding" Being behind the parts desk, i got A LOT of questions. I had a guy actualy ask for a muffler bearing... One of the best ones was this guy comes up to me in the middle of the summer. He says, " I need a hose" so i said, what kind of hose, he said its black, rubber and has little metal clamps or something on the end of it.... i almost fell down with laughter... i looked over to my boss, and his face is beat red... he runs in the back and i can hear his cracking up... Turned out to be a AC hose... I also had a kid tell me that my car is a 6cyl... I asked him why he thought that, and he said "all Z28's are 6cyl.. only IROC's have 8's" I hate when people asked for my honest opinion when they wana by Zmax or some type of snake oil... It depends on how they act. OH yea.. heres a mustang story... I had a guy come in looking for a Carb Return spring for his 5.0 stang. Since i hate mustangs, i asked him if that late 90's mustang was his. He said yea thats mine. I said, is it stock? he said yea, besides exhaust. I then told him that his car was fuel injected, and he didnt need anything for a carb. This sets the guy off and he starts to get loud with me that i dont know anything. I said in my calmest voice... Ok sir, ill see you tomorrow. Next day, he comes to me and hands me the carb spring. I just gave him a look as he said it didnt fit and that he doesnt need it. oh boy... ok im done
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Old 04-06-2003, 05:31 AM
  #184  
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Originally posted by killer305
and always talks about boring the crank
Align...honing /boring the crank journals...its real

------------------
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Old 04-06-2003, 10:04 AM
  #185  
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i love it when people put regular gas in a diesel and wonder why it wont run "what, you mean desiels use a different kinda fuel? "
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Old 04-06-2003, 11:12 PM
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dont forget about the "horn fluid" bep,bep
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Old 04-06-2003, 11:28 PM
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that reminds me... I used to play a trick on this kid that i worked with. He was a import freak, and i would always call him while in the store, and ask for a water hose for a 1967 VW bug, headlight for a 83 corvette, and all the rest of the pranks. muffler bearings, blinker fluid, and what not... he would always check it with the computer... and for some reason, never found what i wanted!
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Old 04-07-2003, 05:28 AM
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Now hereis a new one..ya gotta check this out,..LOL. Made my Monday morning!....
https://www.thirdgen.org/techbb2/sho...65#post1237365
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Old 04-07-2003, 07:40 AM
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hehe thats good...
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Old 04-15-2003, 01:26 AM
  #190  
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You know which myth really pisses me off? The cardboard firewall an inch from a header primariy will catch on fire and burn the car down. I've had the same piece of cardboard covering the hole in the firewall from the old HVAC stuff for 3 years. Every new person who hears about it say you can't use carbboard because it will catch on fire and says I'm a liar until I show it to them.

R
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Old 04-15-2003, 07:28 AM
  #191  
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And I know somebody that was skydiving and their parachute didn't open, and they survived... does that mean that when we jump out of airplanes we don't need parachutes too?

You're lucky; if it was my car, it would have long since either dissolved in water, or caught fire. I have no luck so I don't trust it as much as you do yours.
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Old 04-16-2003, 01:13 PM
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I won't say it wouldn't catch fire in someone elses setup but it works for me.

R
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Old 04-16-2003, 05:24 PM
  #193  
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THE BEST OF THE BEST

I worked at AUTO ZONE part time also.. I saw some of the most off - the -wall stuff.. Some lady's engine was "dirty" and so she purchased the GALLON size carb cleaner and dumped the ENTIRE thing on her engine, while it was running.. she passed out because of the fumes (carb cleaner on manifolds) and I had to call the ambulance.
Some honda driver comes into the store... says he need a STOCK REPLACEMENT exhaust manifold, first ,... He Askes what it's MADE OF, SECOND,... he was planning on changing it in the parking lot with a vice-grip and a hammer, third AND I QUOTE "yo, how many ponnies is this bad boy gonna do me fow" FORTH.. AND I QUOTE "I just got my 6" tach, WITH shift light, I'll take you on" AS I POINTED OUT TO HIM MY BROTHERS '98 SS (which I was driving for the day) He says "what's that got in it... like a V-8 or something, oh well... come on... MINES LIGHTER "
Just thought I'd share my memories, HAVE A LAUGH
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Old 04-17-2003, 09:48 AM
  #194  
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lol jokes

hey guys

i work at advance auto, having owrked there for 5 years it's amazing to see and hear some of these things here is one for ya.

about a month ago a lady pulls up in a 91-92 RS teal green t-tops out jamming out to the radio. the lady pops the hood and checks the oil comes in and buys a quart of oil. While totaling her sale she asked me ( a quart of oil in 10k miles is not bad rite?)

i looked at her straight faced and said sure not bad at all. then i asked her if she ever thought about changing it. She said( well i put in a quart of oil about ever 10k don't it get changed when i add another quart of oil)

i told her sure thing just keep a check on it


you can't forget about needing a water pump for a 70 VW bettle lol

my buddy works at a big-time honda dealership here in greensboro he told me that the other day a guy came in needing a part but unsure what it was( the guy a mexican too) so sam went out there and the guy opened the trunk and there was the radiator fan off the car. but the guy had left the car running LOL
so sam told me he took his time looking up the part and guy left the car running for like 30-40 mins with a cooling fan on it.


what about that kanuder valve
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Old 04-19-2003, 02:35 AM
  #195  
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Originally posted by bigals87z28
that reminds me... I used to play a trick on this kid that i worked with. He was a import freak, and i would always call him while in the store, and ask for a headlight for a 83 corvette, and all the rest of the pranks.
I'm not very Vette literate. what's the joke for the '83 corvette headlight?
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Old 04-19-2003, 02:37 AM
  #196  
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there is no 83 corvette....
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Old 04-19-2003, 02:49 AM
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haha I feel stupid.

Really? I never knew that. LOL that's a good one.
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Old 04-19-2003, 04:00 AM
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Originally posted by RJR99SS
there is no 83 corvette....
whats the deal with that? somebody clue me in...
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Old 04-19-2003, 11:43 AM
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I had a guy ask for a "sprinkler cap" once..."you know, dat thing that sprinkles fire (fi-uh) to da spark plugs!"
Had Mt. Dew come out of my nose with that one! That hurts!


As for the '83 Corvette, the '84 was released early so Chevy just extended the '82s out.

Last edited by a73camaro; 04-19-2003 at 11:45 AM.
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Old 04-21-2003, 01:30 AM
  #200  
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One day, Back when I had my 4 cyl TBI camaro, I was at auto zone, and a guy started talkin to me, and he says he has several camaros, 1st and 2nd gens. I bought an air cleaner for it, and he followed me out to look at my camaro, and he looks at the engine, "Thats a nice 6 cyl you have here!" my friends and I look at eachother, puzzled. He said he was a master mechanic.... You could clearly see it had one valve cover right down the middle of it.... LMAO
Attached Thumbnails Common repair myths....-4-cyl.jpg  
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