Gta-Paladin

I said yes to almost this whole list

You've lived in Alberta too long when...

Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor and combine crew on the highway.

"Vacation" means driving through Banff or Jasper Park or going "back to school" shopping in Calgary.

You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.

You measure distance in hours. Not minutes. Or kilometres.

You've been to a tractor pull.

South to you means Montana.

Winnipeg is "back East". B.C. is "the coast".

You know people who have hit deer, elk, moose or cattle.

You know who has to pay for the damage to your truck, and what to do with the dead cow when you hit one.

Your school classes were cancelled because of cold, but only when it was -40 or colder.

You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.

You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
You've seen people wear bib overalls and ball caps at funerals.

You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.

You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition.

Example:

"Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall I wanna go with."

You often reply "you bet!" or "hell yes!"

All the festivals across the province are named after fruits, vegetables, grain or *********.

You've gotten a "To Go" drink from the local bar.

You've stopped by the local bar to cash a cheque.

You install security lights on your house and barn and leave both unlocked.

You carry jumper cables in your car.

You know what "Cow Tipping", "Garden Raiding" and "Snipe Hunting" are.

You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.

You understand that it is simply not proper to put ketchup or steak sauce on a good steak.

You know someone who's lost their license due to an impaired charge and have seen their tractor or snowmobile parked at the local bar.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

You've gone to the grocery store on a snowmobile.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

Driving in the winter is often simply a matter of staying between the fence posts.

You think that washing your pickup is a waste of time and money.


You have never owned a vehicle that did not have cracks in the windshield.


You think everyone from a bigger city is stuck up.

You get a little claustrophobic when you're in a "big city" like Red Deer and their traffic is "just awful, you wouldn't believe it".

You've attempted to set new land speed records on Alberta's highways.

You think sexy winter lingerie is a flannel nightie and tube socks.
You know how many cords of wood it will take to get through the winter.

The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for High School Sports.

You think that the opening of elk season should be a national holiday.

You carry a roll of toilet paper in the glove box in case you have to stop and go by the road.

Your radio antenna is an old clothes hanger or piece of baling wire.

You find -20 degrees "a little chilly".

You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.

You know what a real Rocky Mountain Oyster is, and have a recipe for them.

You know someone who's shot themselves accidentally.

Driver's Education was a joke for you and all your classmates since you all had been driving since you were 10.

You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your Alberta friends.

Blade

And what's this have to do with the "Tech / General Engine" forum ?

Gta-Paladin

uhhhhh beats me

We dont have any c00lio talking forums on our board

87RS402

5 Bucks this will get locked.

Soon.

87RS402

OK, So I was wrong

Vader

GTA -

Except for the moose strikes and about ten degrees difference in temps (F°), it sounds like the upper midwest in the US.

You know you're in the "big city" in Rice Lake because there is a Wal-Mart AND K-Mart;

The traffic on the snowmobile lanes is jammed and the rest of the streets are empty;

The smoothest roads are the frozen lakes;

Opening of deer season IS a holiday;

Wind chill factors are irrelevant;

You know summer is near when you have to help a buddy tow his pickup out of the half-frozen lake.

Five bucks to 87RS (you knew this was going to happen...)

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Later,
Vader
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"No matter how hard you try you can't stop us now"
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