86budgetSC

There are a lot of things in life that you think are important. It might be your 4-wheeler,car,money in the bank whatever. It is normal thinking to think that way. Yes those things are important to you. There is something even more important. It matters more than anything else. It is hard to understand until something happens that brings you to face it head on.

Yesterday my Father ended his life. I cannot explain why. He did it. The fact remains that he did it. It was certainly a wake up call.

The feelings that have come over me since the cop woke me up and told me to get out of the house.Because my “Daddy just shot himself” Are extremely hard to explain. The numbness,disbelief,shock,and extreme hurt and anger are all here all the time.

My father the man that taught me how to ride a wheelie,adjust the valves on a sbc,the difference between a daul plane and single plane intake,The man that taught me every thing I know.Everything I love and care about is gone.From the times we went fishing to the playball in the yard.Or when we swapped a new crate motor in my mom’s Tahoe in record time.I cannot explain or put into words how much I cared for the this man.This all feels like a dream.A horrible horrible dream and I can’t wake up.

justinhebert

Our prayers are with you man.. Sounds like you and your dad got along great. Cherish the memories you have and he'll always be with you.

Slade1

My condolences to you and your family... we'll be here as best as we can be for you if you need us.

1bad91Z

iTrader: (1)

..................... There are no words. Just know that we will all be here to lend an ear and some words if we can. Be as close to your family as you can and cherish every moment.

My condolences,

Mike (1bad91Z)

IHI

iTrader: (1)

My condolunces, cherish the memories you had with your father and feel lucky to have had a man in your life to share and teach past experiences with. I've known personally 3 individuals that also chose to end their lives and I know the way I felt is how you described it, but yet so much more is undescribable, all you have is a huge void that seems surreal, try not to let the "why" question consume you; it'll never be put to rest until your ready. Remember the man for who he was, not what he did. Nobody can say words that'll ease the pain...just time... and even that seems in slow motion for awhile. Keep your head up, and know that your friends here and anybody who knows you and the family will be in our prayers.

Vader

This is difficult, especially in a time that should be filled with joy and happiness. Honor him by remembering the best times. The rest will only take time to digest.

All I can offer is my sympathy and condolences to you and your family. Everything else seems so trivial when put into that perspective. Treasure the time you've had, and time you will have with your friends and family.

Sitting Bull

Sorry to hear that. I'll be thinking of you in these days. G0D Bless.

BikertrashDude

G0D bless, I am sorry....
Gustav

ZZ28ZZ

I'm truly saddened by your loss.
I lost my father at age 18. I know how you feel bro..

Try and keep your head up.
Support your family; they're hurting as bad as you are.

86budgetSC

Thanks for the support guys.


I really don't know what to say right now.I have been trying hard to keep my mind off of it.

On sept 12 one of my best freinds lost his father from cancer.I was there through the entire 3 years of his battle.It really didn't hit home till the day we laid him in the ground.Then all of a sudden it became very apparent what had happened.

My dad and I spent more time in the garage then in the house.We where doing the frame off on a 78 jeep cj-5 and had just finished the frame.I would like to finish it just like he wanted it to be and show it.I know it isn't going to be easy going into that garage.The place where we spent so many hours wrenching on cars and trucks.He built the house I live in.Constant reminders of him are everywhere around me.


Some time I start crying.Then I stop.Others I just cry.Then times like now I am just here.Having no feeling.I know I am not grasping the fact the I will never see this man again.

No4NJunk

I can only offer my prayers to you and your family through this rough time in your life. You are a man now. You must forge on and head the house. I see you are young and I can only imagine how hard this must be. Your father will always be with you and was proud of you I'm sure. PLEASE...do not blame yourself. Keep a high head and make the old man proud.

Brian McClean

P.S. If you ever need to vent or talk you can always email me or get ahold of me through AIM.

jasonbennett

sorry for your loss. my grandfather took his own life on jul 4 1991. since he basically helped raise me i felt the same way. it's been 11 years and i still miss him everyday. i still have memories of the time we spent together, so in some ways he is still here. he will always be missed but he will always be with you in your memories. again i want to extend my condolences for your loss...

irocbsa

G0D Bless. I'll keep you in my prayers.

jeff85iroc

Cherish the memories
My condolences to you and your family.
*** bless.

Jeff.

xpndbl3

iTrader: (5)

i'm sorry man. Death is never easy and you never see it coming. I am sorry to admit that i've been to at least 10 times more funerals than birthday parties. If you ever need anything just ask. You should definately talk to someone about your emotions right now so that the grieving process can begin, whether it's a friend, priest, or whoever someone should know how your feeling face-to-face.

I'm sorry.
G0D bless you,
Steve
xpndl3

E-Z Rollin

There is nothing I can say that is going to ease the pain of losing your father,only time will help to heal. I had a aunt that took her life,she had been ill for a long time and was medicated,one of the sweetest women I've ever known. My mother and father were seperated when I was young,although he visted we never really had the close relationship that a young boy needs with his father.To his credit he was never abusive and I know he love me in his own way. I have often wonder what his childhood was like.When you think of your father, remember the good times you had,there are alot of guys out there that never had a father or had an abusive one. If you have feelings of anger,which is normal,be forgiving,you will always have the good times to cherish. You are a youngman and some day will have childern of your own to share the same love that your father gave you.

Cruzin Kaz

I am very sorry to hear of this. I can't imagine how hard this is for you and your family. Our hearts are with you all. You have a hard mountain to climb now, remember all the good times and peace will soon come.

87transam5.7tpi

I will keep you in my prayers.

blue86iroc

iTrader: (2)

I too am sorry to hear about your loss. Just last year around this time I lost my own father due to a sudden heart attack. I was 16 then, I am 17 now. It's been hard this past year, but I can honestly say that it's getting better. My friends and family have been helping me through it, and I believe that my dad is always with me, regardless if I can see him or not.

He had a 1967 Camaro SS-396 that he used to drag race... he owned it since he was 17. We were in the process of swapping in a new engine and transmission. Similar to your plans with the CJ, I want to complete the project in the way that he would have done. He's taught me everything that I know about cars, and I want to follow in his footsteps.

You're in my prayers.

EvilCartman

iTrader: (1)

My condolences to you and your family. I'm always lost for words in matters like this. Friend of mine took his life a few years ago and that was hard to get through, can't imagine what you're going through

88txiroc

I lost a friend from work that way just a couple of months ago. He drew his weapon from the armory and went to work like nothing was wrong. About two hours later a patrol found him lying over his M16.

It is hard to deal with something as emotional as this. Like some of the others have said, you need to talk to a professional about your feelings. It will be hard for a long time to come, but keep your head above water. Time will heal all wounds. Just remember that YOU did NOT make this happen.

You and your family will be in many prayers in the coming days and weeks.

Please, make sure you talk to someone. You can even email or PM me if you would like. Thomas

87GTA Runner

You and your family are in our prayers, and don't forget, no matter how lonely you might feel right now, you are never alone. *** bless you and yours.

kfoley

My condolances go out you and all your loved ones, I know a few people who have taken their own life and it's sad. I know it's hard, but support your loved ones, they are hurting also and they can help you through this. If you ever need to talk or need ANYTHING all of us at ThirdGen are here for you. You and your loved ones will be in our thoughts tonight. Feel free to PM or AIM me anytime....

Kyle
fsckroot

Raiden

Truley sorry about your dad! I see this stuff all of the time at work, paramedic. People get really depressed for one reason or another and do unresonalbe thingss because they are not thinking clealry. I know that nothing anyone says can make you feel any better, but just try and remember the good times, good memories and surround your self with good friends and fmaily! Try not to judge your dad for his actions, For him to do such drastic measures he must have been very confused, depressed, and not thinking clearly.

Know that many of your TGO family and friends are praying for you and your family!

86budgetSC

Again thanks for all the support.I never imagined it would get like this.

My ex-girl freind still lives with me.She lost her dad when she was 10.We stayed up till 4 in the morning just talking.It really felt good.I can talk to her better than I can talk to all my freinds.I don't know why.It felt good though

I am getting ready to leave for church right now.And then I am going to the layout.Man this is going to be hard


Again thanks for all the support.It really does help knowing there are people you have never even met that care.


Thanks.

Wootah

Good luck with everything. I have the same type of relationship with my father to. He fixes anything on my car thats wrong while I lend tools and help out, and learn from what he is doing. I know if he was gone I'd trip.


Say a long goodbye. It may feel hard in doing so, but every memory eventually leads to a stopping point, and that would be a good stopping point in my mind. Prayers are with you.

SSC

Its very hard to see a post like this, I lost my Father April 1st of this year. We had a relationship similar yours and we were getting closer in the last few years, He was even helping me with the paint work on my Firebird the day before he died.

My condolences to you and your family, loosing someone is just so hard, You and your Family will be in my Prayers.

GB,

SSC

Dirty Rob

Sorry to hear this so close to the holidays. Im sure very few of us know how hard this actually is, but we'll all be thinking of you.

Slackett

*** be with ya.....

I carried my grandfather to his grave when I was 11 and my dad when I was 17. Both of them took their own lives after lifelong bouts with alcohol.

Last year, my older brother tried the same thing but *** was watching out for him and spared his life.

Remember the good things you shared and have faith that *** will give you peace.

RB

kfoley

I consider this my second family (as a lot of people do I'm sure) and if someone needs anything, I'm there for them. Whether it's to help them through a hard time, or telling a newbie how to change his oil.

PeteZ28

Hi Friend, sorry you lost your dad. It must be gut wrenching. Please remember there is a *** and we now celebrate that 2000 years ago He entered time and space to walk with us and share our hurts. He'll go with us and walk with us now if we invite him to... Again sorry for your loss. I'll be thinking and praying about you.

Pete
84Z28

Makaveli

im sorry man

try to keep yourself busy remembering the warm memories and lessons he left you with, and the pain will ease with time my friend, just takes time.

condolences to you, and your family in this hard time, were all family here, even though sometimes we flame eachother and get at eachother, but in the end, were still here. hehe

felo72

Hey buddy, you hang in there. These are tough times, I lost my father at the age of 15 to lightning, and my neighbor, who was a great friend, took his life last year and I found him. Speaking from experiance, keep you head up and you have to remember that you still have a life to live. You're going to be very angry at him, but try to remember all the good and drown out the bad. Don't push away comfort from your friends or family, and take as much alone time as you want, they'll understand. My condolances, and *** bless.

Raiden

AMEN to that quote! Remember....the quality of your life is directly related to the quality of the relationships in your life! And a good running f-body Don't take life for granted, the friends you have, the ones you share your life with.

FyreLance

I don't even know what to say.

My prayers are with you.

Robz84Monte

i can't imagine what your going through or how hard it must have been to write that post but stay strong, look forward, and keep all of the good times close to your heart. my prayers go out to you and your family. we're all here for you *** bless.

86budgetSC

I just wanted to say thanks for all wo replied and sent me private messages.It has been a very rough time for my family and I.It isn't over though and never will be.I cannot even begin to explain how this feels and I never will be able to.

Last night after the funeral I went out in the garage and looked around.That man had more tools than he knew what to do with and he wanted more.Like one of his freinds said though.It was his way of forgetting all his problems and relaxing.

Again thanks.

dunerida82

Horrible man, totally horrible. Just have to live life one day at a time, and be ready because the next day might be your last. Thats how you have to learn how to live, although no one is ever ready for it.

Our prayers are with you man.

87TA 305TPI

im sorry. i hope you work everthing out, i know it can be hard but just work through it and itll be ok. i dunno what else to say, sorry man.

89rsIMPRTETR

to 86budgetsc: i feel for ya man, in the last year i have lost both of my grandparents which i were close to and just recently i lost my aunt. what has helped me get through it is just keeping myself real busy, working on cars constantly and on thirdgen all the time,at least this way i dont constantly think about it. i mean dont get me wrong, its ok to remember your lost ones and remember the good times now and then.
p.s. whatever you do man,dont go and take your life! its not worth it and i just want you to know that everyone on this board cares for eachother like brothers so stay in good health ya here
ron

82sportcoupe

sorry to hear about that, i have no idea what else to say. Ill keep you and your family in my prayers.

biff85ta

sorry to hear about your dad I laid my grandfather to rest earlier this month and know to some degree the pain you are going through I also lost a friend once the same way you lost your father and tried for months to understand what could ever be so bad for someone to do what he did and finally realized that there is no way to understand just make sure to remember the man you knew so well and loved dearly not his actions because try as you might you can never understnad what made things that bad.

86budgetSC

Yeah I have found myself doing the same.I have another project.Now I have enough projects to spend the rest of my life on.

Don't worry I would never do anything.I have witnessed and felt the pain that it causes.I don't want to put my mom through this again.

pskel350

Sorry to hear about your loss. Lossing someone is the hardest thing to go through in life. You just have to cherish all the great memories you had with your dad. They will have so much meaning to you now. Keep your head up high, and your dad will always be proud of you. *** Bless

RS91

I can't say anything..... But be strong...

My Condolences....

86 IROCZ28

I am with you man and know exactly what you are going through! I am going through it myself as my mum ended her life too a year ago when she jumped off the 8th story of a building.

Exactly like you say, values change and after something like this you look at life very differently.

My condolences are with you and your family. You just have to hang in there and fight on. It is not easy but we have to survive and try and live life the best we can.

It is a shame that all it takes is a split second and life is over. Sometimes a minute or 2 can save a life and a person can come to different thoughts.

Hang in there mate!!

dddubld

I'm don't even know what to say...I wish you the best in anything you do.

dddubld

I don't even know what to say...I'm so sorry.

spartyon

props to u man for dealing with this. i know i couldnt do it. sorry to hear about your loss

Corry

I lost my dad when I was 12. It is rough. Good luck on the jeep, its now been nearly 10 years since I lost my father and I still don't have the heart to go and finish the model airplane we were working on. I am seriously considering scraping it now since all the parts are missing, the motor is having some kind of problem, etc etc, but starting again and building a different plane as a tribute.
Remember everything he taught you, you'll be surprised many years from now when you suddenly remember something relevent that he told you a while ago, I have had this experience on several occasions from Ohms Law in Electricity to U-Joints underneath the car.
It is hard, and I can say personally that the void never goes away, but eventually you realize its not a void, but rather the space for all your memories. Once that happens the only thing missiong is the person standing next to you. I still often think to myself what kind of advise would my dad have given here? Or what would dad have done here.... Usually I can come up with something. I do still miss him being around.
The only advise I can really give is be there for your mom, if you think this hits you hard, its probably hitting her 100x harder, unless they wern't close like my parents were. I was close to my dad, but you never have the same relationship (for obvious reasons), and remember your relationship started when you were born, theirs started well I'll say at least 9 months before hand, in my case it was a good 10 or 15 years beforehand. To this day I still find my mom sitting alone in tears of grief for my dad. There isn't much you can do but be there for her.
Thats about all I can share...Obviously the experience is different for everyone. My dad died of cancer....a cancer normally associated with smokers, yet my dad never smoked a cig in his life. The only think we can think of is good 'ol Agent Orange used in vietnam for deforestation. I too had the displaced emotions, not for the same reason, but I understand.
Good luck.