Perhaps the funniest email i have ever received
09-16-2001, 01:32 AM
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Perhaps the funniest email i have ever received
>Enlight of all the recent tragety, I thought this halarious email I received would make everyone laugh!! Thank *** !!! my friends and family have been accounted for!!!
HAVING A BAD DAY?
> For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need
to
> take it out on someone!!! Don't take that bad day out on someone you know,
> take it out on someone you DON'T know!!! Now get this. I was sitting at my
> desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make.
>
> I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying,"Hello?"
I
> politely said, "This is Patrick Hannifin and could I please speak to Robin
> Carter?" Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe
that
> anyone could be that rude.
>
> I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the
> last two digits incorrectly.
>
> After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there
on
> my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more
> answered, I yelled "You're a jackass!" and hung up. Next to his phone
> number I wrote the word "jackass," and put it in my desk drawer.
>
> Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day,
I'd
> call him up. He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're a jackass!" It would
always
> cheer me up.
>
> Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a real
> disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the jackass.
>
> Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard his voice,
> "Hello." I made up a name. "Hi, this is Mike Smith with the sales office
of
> the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with
> our caller ID program?" He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down. I
> quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a jackass!"
>
> The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if
> there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it.
> Just dial 823-4863.
>
> [Keep reading, it gets better.]
>
> An old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the parking
> place. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally, she got the
> car in reverse and she began to move ... very slowly backing out of the
> slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out.
> Great, I thought, she's finally leaving.
>
> All of a sudden this black Camaro comes flying up the parking aisle in the
> wrong direction and pulls into her space. I started honking my horn and
> yelling, "You can't just do that, Buddy. I was here first!" The guy
climbed
> out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if
he
> didn't even hear me. I thought to myself, this guy's a jackass, there
sure
> a lot of jackasses in this world.
>
> Then I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I
> wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.
>
> A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten
> off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're a
> jackass!" (It's really easy to call him now since I have his number on
speed
> dial)
>
> I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on my
> desk, so I called the jackass. I asked him "Is this the guy who has the
> black Camero for sale?"
>
> "Yes, it is."
>
> "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
>
> "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car's
> parked right out front."
>
> I said, "What's your name?"
>
> "My name is Don Hansen."
>
> "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
>
> "I'm home in the evenings."
>
> "Listen Don, can I tell you something?"
>
> "Yes."
>
> "Don, you're a jackass!" And I slammed the phone down.
>
> After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer.
>
> For a while things, seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a
> problem I had two jackasses to call. Then, after several months of
calling
> the jackasses and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it
used
> to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a
solution:
>
> First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1.
>
> A man answered nicely saying,"Hello."
>
> I yelled "You're a jackass!", but I didn't hang up.
>
> The jackass said, "Are you still there?"
>
> I said, "Yeah."
>
> He said, "Stop calling me."
>
> I said, "No."
>
> He said, "What's your name, Pal?"
>
> I said, "Don Hansen."
>
> He said "Where do you live?"
>
> "1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro's parked
out
> front."
>
> "I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers."
>
> "Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" and I hung up.
>
> Then I called Jackass #2. He answered, "Hello."
>
> I said, "Hello, Jackass!"
>
> He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
>
> "You'll what?"
>
> "I'll kick your butt."
>
> "Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now, Jackass!"
>
> And I hung up.
>
> Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at
1802
> West 34th Street and that I was going to
> kill my gay lover as soon as he got home.
>
> Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down W. 34th
> Street.
>
> After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch
the
> whole thing. Glorious! Watching two Jackasses kicking the crap out of
each
> other in front of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter, and channel 13 news
> cameras!!!
>
> It was one of the greatest experiences of my life!
>
HAVING A BAD DAY?
> For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need
to
> take it out on someone!!! Don't take that bad day out on someone you know,
> take it out on someone you DON'T know!!! Now get this. I was sitting at my
> desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make.
>
> I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying,"Hello?"
I
> politely said, "This is Patrick Hannifin and could I please speak to Robin
> Carter?" Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe
that
> anyone could be that rude.
>
> I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the
> last two digits incorrectly.
>
> After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there
on
> my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more
> answered, I yelled "You're a jackass!" and hung up. Next to his phone
> number I wrote the word "jackass," and put it in my desk drawer.
>
> Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day,
I'd
> call him up. He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're a jackass!" It would
always
> cheer me up.
>
> Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a real
> disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the jackass.
>
> Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard his voice,
> "Hello." I made up a name. "Hi, this is Mike Smith with the sales office
of
> the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with
> our caller ID program?" He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down. I
> quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a jackass!"
>
> The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if
> there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it.
> Just dial 823-4863.
>
> [Keep reading, it gets better.]
>
> An old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the parking
> place. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally, she got the
> car in reverse and she began to move ... very slowly backing out of the
> slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out.
> Great, I thought, she's finally leaving.
>
> All of a sudden this black Camaro comes flying up the parking aisle in the
> wrong direction and pulls into her space. I started honking my horn and
> yelling, "You can't just do that, Buddy. I was here first!" The guy
climbed
> out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if
he
> didn't even hear me. I thought to myself, this guy's a jackass, there
sure
> a lot of jackasses in this world.
>
> Then I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I
> wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.
>
> A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten
> off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're a
> jackass!" (It's really easy to call him now since I have his number on
speed
> dial)
>
> I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on my
> desk, so I called the jackass. I asked him "Is this the guy who has the
> black Camero for sale?"
>
> "Yes, it is."
>
> "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
>
> "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car's
> parked right out front."
>
> I said, "What's your name?"
>
> "My name is Don Hansen."
>
> "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
>
> "I'm home in the evenings."
>
> "Listen Don, can I tell you something?"
>
> "Yes."
>
> "Don, you're a jackass!" And I slammed the phone down.
>
> After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer.
>
> For a while things, seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a
> problem I had two jackasses to call. Then, after several months of
calling
> the jackasses and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it
used
> to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a
solution:
>
> First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1.
>
> A man answered nicely saying,"Hello."
>
> I yelled "You're a jackass!", but I didn't hang up.
>
> The jackass said, "Are you still there?"
>
> I said, "Yeah."
>
> He said, "Stop calling me."
>
> I said, "No."
>
> He said, "What's your name, Pal?"
>
> I said, "Don Hansen."
>
> He said "Where do you live?"
>
> "1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro's parked
out
> front."
>
> "I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers."
>
> "Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" and I hung up.
>
> Then I called Jackass #2. He answered, "Hello."
>
> I said, "Hello, Jackass!"
>
> He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
>
> "You'll what?"
>
> "I'll kick your butt."
>
> "Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now, Jackass!"
>
> And I hung up.
>
> Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at
1802
> West 34th Street and that I was going to
> kill my gay lover as soon as he got home.
>
> Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down W. 34th
> Street.
>
> After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch
the
> whole thing. Glorious! Watching two Jackasses kicking the crap out of
each
> other in front of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter, and channel 13 news
> cameras!!!
>
> It was one of the greatest experiences of my life!
>
09-16-2001, 01:46 AM
#3
LMAO, kick *** ! 
-Roshambo
------------------
-Joe
1988 Pontiac Trans Am WS6 - 305 TPI, 700R4, 3.23 Posi, Digital Dash, Leather Seats, Maui Blue with Silver GFX, T-tops, Tinted Glass, Gutted MAF, TB Coolant Bypass, K&N Cone Filter, Hi Flo Cat, 3" exhaust from Y-pipe back, MSD Super Coil, Accel 8mm wires, L98 Aluminum Heads, Ported and Polished Plenum, Siamesed Intake, Aluminum Driveshaft, Edelbrock 3 point Strut Tower Brace
-Roshambo
------------------
-Joe
1988 Pontiac Trans Am WS6 - 305 TPI, 700R4, 3.23 Posi, Digital Dash, Leather Seats, Maui Blue with Silver GFX, T-tops, Tinted Glass, Gutted MAF, TB Coolant Bypass, K&N Cone Filter, Hi Flo Cat, 3" exhaust from Y-pipe back, MSD Super Coil, Accel 8mm wires, L98 Aluminum Heads, Ported and Polished Plenum, Siamesed Intake, Aluminum Driveshaft, Edelbrock 3 point Strut Tower Brace
09-16-2001, 02:29 AM
#4
Hehe totall classic! On another note, Al was telling me something he saw at Target once... A van was sitting waiting to pull into a spot and someone decided to take it first... Soo as another car pulled out from next to the recently stolen parking space the van proceeded to leave only about 1" of space between itself and the drivers side of the spot thief!
On another note, Al was telling me something he saw at Target once... A van was sitting waiting to pull into a spot and someone decided to take it first... Soo as another car pulled out from next to the recently stolen parking space the van proceeded to leave only about 1" of space between itself and the drivers side of the spot thief!
09-16-2001, 11:42 AM
#5
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I do that all the time. I hate people who take 2 spaces. The best part is standing there watching some bald, over-the-hill, mid-life crisis, can't park, jerk crawl into his shiny new C5 through the passenger side.
09-16-2001, 06:41 PM
#6
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Car: '89 Firebird
Engine: 7.0L
Transmission: T56
.... and then try to climb over the fragile plastic center console without breaking it. 
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